I haven’t done this in a while. It’s time for an investigation into “what weird things are people typing in to find my site?” Here are the top ten weirdest keyphrases I found:

1. “crossfit diarrhea”: I’m sorry I couldn’t help you with that, best of luck!
2. “what other websites say”: I don’t care what the other websites say.
3. “the parent company on a all bran bar package”: I just liked this one because it was so long.
4. “the motherly types”: You really have the wrong place for that.
5. “lesbian crossfit”: Also the wrong place for that.
6. “ultramega bars”: As far as I know, these don’t really exist. Maybe I should trademark the name?
7. “bookapalooza”: I don’t remember ever being dumb enough to add “apalooza” to the end of a perfectly good word, but there it is.
8. “smelly snakes”: I’m saddened that this person is not interested in more fragrant snakes, how close-minded.
9. “little mom teen”: What strikes me here is not the choice of words as much as the arrangement. What could they have been looking for?
10. “heart irregularity and shellfish”: I really have no idea how this relates to anything I write. My heart is fine, and it beats fast and strong for shellfish, yum!

Thanks for tuning in readers, I hope you had fun. Now you know what kind of awesome keyword-targetted traffic I get here on the blog. I’m sure there are other bloggers out there scrambling to dominate me for keyword position in Google now. Please, take my traffic, I don’t need more freaks here!

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